Fear of the Unknown… is it holding you back?

Fear of the unknown

How many of us are playing it safe? You know what I mean, staying in that job that we can barely tolerate, or relationship that has been heading south, or making excuses why we haven’t taken the next step on our journey. Existing in a mundane day to day existence, silently yearning to break out of the mold. Struggling to even making decisions… in case we make the “wrong” decision.

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown” 
H.P. Lovecraft

Fear keeps us trapped in the familiar, in our safety net.

Fear is a funny thing. It doesn’t always show up as the heart pounding adrenaline rush. Sometimes, it is so subtle we don’t even know its there. Years ago, when I first realized my marriage was breaking down, I told myself, if I can just see it through for another 5 years, then the kids will be finished school. I wanted to play it safe based on what I thought was my concern for my children. The truth is I was petrified. Sure I talked a great talk about wanting to be free, to be able to move forward in my life but every time the opportunity rose… I  balked, stalled and came up with new reasons why I should stay in the marriage.

What if, I can’t do it. What if I can’t make it on my own. All the old programing from the past, I’m not good enough, what if I fail, how will I survive. No matter how much work I had done on myself… there they were, my old friends, fear and doubt.

The problem is we don’t know what to do about The Unknown. We don’t know what will help, or  even where to begin to get a desirable outcome, or where we’re going. Whatever we think or do just adds to our anxiety, because we always end up back at the same place:  like the hamster on a wheel, running on the spot covering the same ground over and over.

Then came the day that life stepped in. No more stalling…  I was out on a limb with no safety net. I was in the process of starting my business, so what did I do?  I jumped on the closest life raft…a job that would pay the bills. Played it safe. I told everyone… it’s a short term solution… I’ll only stay long enough to build my private practice. Within two weeks, the universe stepped in again.

This time the FEAR raised it’s ugly head in a big time way… suddenly, I had to keep the job. I squashed my truth, my dreams and shrank to fit into the confines of the role. Again, I played the safe card. As I made the conscious decision to stay in the job, I knew I was awake, I couldn’t mask the fear any longer. It was time to address the unconscious programs that were running under the surface.

Fast forward twelve months… and BAM! Here it was again… this time I was ready. No more victim, no more shrinking, I had been working on all the unconscious programs that had been holding me back.  The day to day conscious use of FasterEFT, tapping and release that I had given to the old programs had paid off.

On the edge of the cliff, ready to fly…

As I sit here writing this post, I have sold my family home, left my job, and my children are moving on with their lives. The future is wide open. I have choices. There has been grief, sadness, uncertainty and anxiety. And as each of these arise, I allow the emotion to be here and then let go of the old program that is attached to the emotions. Yet as I have cleared so much of the old fear and doubt, I am excited about what is to come. A brand new adventure. I am like the baby bird on the edge of the cliff getting the nudge to take off and fly.

If you are suffering from the fear of the unknown, stepping out of your comfort zone or just unable to take that next step, there are solutions. Most of us want to have guarantees. We want to know exactly what the outcome will be to what ever the dilemma may be. If the mind is not able to work out a solution, it will start to race through all the possible scenarios eventually settling for the worst case scenario. There are no guarantees. Becoming present to the moment is our first step. The next step is to let go of all the unconscious programs that become the default setting the moment we are not present.